Can This Relationship Be Saved Hello all you post Singularity orgasm antelopes of the noosphere, and welcome to Ask Dr. Nerd. Love, the only dating advice column that helps you speedrun through your awkward dating years and get straight to the final level of relationship success. This week, were talking about how you fix things when youve just done screwed up. What does it take to pull a relationship back from the brink of destruction, especially when it may be your fault What damage can be repaired, and what is the point of no return What sins do you need to confess to and which are better left unsaid Its not a fun topic, but its often a necessary one. So lets dive in and deal with these glitches. Good Morning, Doctor Nerdlove,I am sorry to bother you and frankly have no idea why I am doing thismaybe I just need to vent. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 5 years we just celebrated our 5th anniversary, and have been together for just over 1. We have three children, a girl from her former relationship who is pretty nerdy but struggles in school, and twins who are witty and smart as fuck. For almost the entirety of our marriage, there have been problems usually coming to a head near our anniversary. Some background Right after we got engaged I made some really bad financial choices. This sets both of us back years in terms of money and wherewhat we wanted to do with our lives. Simply put, I put us from mid middle class to poverty line. A year after this happened, my job was eliminated in a corporate acquisition. A-2.0----you-can-%28not%29-advance-screenshot.jpg' alt='Download Movie Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (not) Advance Dvd Player' title='Download Movie Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (not) Advance Dvd Player' />I used to make as much as my wife an RN nurse with two master degrees and a lot of letters I cant remember after her RN but the loss of my job hit us hard, especially with the twins so new in the world. For 6 months we struggled by with her pay and what little I could get from unemployment benefits but it was hard. I was eating only once a day and my wife was taking what she could get in free food and handouts at the hospitalbut the kids ate and thats the important part. Around when the twins turned two I got a management job at a shipping company. It didnt make as much as my previous job. As it is, though, youve lost your butas in Yeah, hes not great as a stayathome dad but he makes me laugh or but he makes up for it in other. The End of Evangelion Air, Shin Seiki Evangerion Gekijban EaMagokoro o, Kimi ni. Its cake versus ice cream for Splatoon 2s first Splatfest and were streaming all the fun live on our Twitch channel. Come and join the mayhem Directed by Mamoru Oshii. With Atsuko Tanaka, Iemasa Kayumi, Akio tsuka, Kichi Yamadera. A cyborg policewoman and her partner hunt a mysterious and powerful. Watch A Monster Calls online streaming full movie in HD for free. Stream A Monster Calls full movie free in good quality without download online. In Neon Genesis Evangelion, Evangelions, Evangerion also referred to as Evas or EVAs are the fictional cyborgs piloted by the Children. Mezrich Well its interesting, you look at this marriage between incredibly wealthy people and science, and in some ways its a very good thing. Cheatbook your source for Cheats, Video game Cheat Codes and Game Hints, Walkthroughs, FAQ, Games Trainer, Games Guides, Secrets, cheatsbook. Replicants, superheros, and reboots await you in our Fall Movie Guide. Plan your season and take note of the hotly anticipated indie, foreign, and documentary. At first, everything was good, it was good pay, good hours that we could use family to babysit for, etc. However, soon my hours got switched to evenings and all went to hell. Our problems werent just about money some was my being an oversized man child at the time. I was not nice or civil in any of our arguments about money, I belittled her, yelled, and basically threw temper tantrums, using false equivalencies, gaslighting, every dirty trick you could think of. I also started to fall into a depression due to the fights and soon gained a good chunk of weight and stopped helping out around the house. My wife would ask me to do something like change the basement light bulb and it would be months before I did it. This persisted for a long time. Download Movie Evangelion 2. You Can not Advance Dvd KirkwoodI got less mean during fights, and eventually, the biggest point of contention was that I refused to admit when I was wrong I used what I have come to call the Obi Wan argument of from a certain point of view. The new job didnt work out. We couldnt afford me working and daycare costs after the hours switched to the evenings. Eventually, we settled on me just being a stay at home dad. I was and still am pretty bad at it. I love my children, but being put in charge of teaching them, getting them ready for their school years to come, playing with them, housework, cookingbasically successfully doing what women in Western culture have been doing since the beginning of timewas too much, and things began to slip. First, it was long spats of laundry not being done, then it was a drop in quality of food prep. Eventually, I shaped up a bit but it was too little, too late. Now if I forget a childs sock on the floor all my past crimes are drilled back into my head. And to me, thats the issue everything I have ever done she remembers in crystal clear detail, and I, on the other hand, cant remember what shirt my kid wore to school today. Sci Fi Thriller Movies Samurai Jack more. Last week I messed up 3 times. My wife came at me with all the mistakes, in a very negative way, and in front of our kids I blew up at her. We tried to talk again last night and that blew up too after I asked why she was being so passive aggressive with meI slept on the sofa after an hour of her yelling variations of Something you did in the past, fuck you, My NameAt the moment Im alone with the kidsI really dont want to be with the kids love them as I may I cant help but place some of the catalyst of blame on them. If theyd just learned when I was trying to teach them If theyd just behaved when I was trying to do work on my Masters on and on. I dont like to admit it but I have come to a point that I resent my kidsif they werent around I wouldnt have had to leave multiple decent paying jobs. If they werent around I would have the time to do the work about me. I still would have fucked up the money but maybe that wouldnt have been such a huge issue if it werent for the existence of children. I am sorryat this point, I am all over the place. Essentially, my life sucks, my marriage is near collapse, I think I hate my kids and I need advice on how to fix it that doesnt involve marriage counseling because my wife refused utterly when I broached the subject. Signed,Out of Time. The time to fix things was a long ass time ago, Oo. T. You dont need Dr. Nerd. Love, you need The Doctor. Cuz right now, about the only thing that can fix your relationship is going to be hopping into the TARDIS and ignoring a whole bunch of rules about not crossing your own timeline. Relationships, like people, can be hardy things. There are relationships that can sustain biblical levels of hardship, and everyone involved can still cling to the core of love, respect and affection. Others can be as fragile as spun glass, where the slightest hint of conflict causes them to fall apart. The thing that defines whether a relationship survives or falls apart is how the couple responds to hardship. Do you see the struggle as something that you have to endure and hope for the best, or is it something that you work to overcome as a team Do you celebrate even the minor successes while finding ways to downplay the bad, or is it just one giant shitstorm Couples who fight as a team tend to be the ones who come through the crisis. In fact, they tend to be all the stronger for it theyve been tested and tempered in fire. You and your wife didnt come together as a team. In fact, this comes pretty close to being a textbook way to not survive a crisis. You did almost everything you could to push her away. Yelling and fighting is bad, but it happens. But you made a major mistake you werent fighting to fix things, you were fighting to wound. And boy fucking howdy, did you. Everything you listedgaslighting, belittling her and those tantrumsare a horrible way to treat someone you love and a great way to damage your relationship. I get that you were dealing with a lot of shit all at once. Working the nightgraveyard shift is a motherfucker on people, your mental health and even your ability to just rest. Its understandable how thats going to fuck with your head, just on a biological level. Similarly, theres no shame in things being difficult or in being frustrated or angry. For a lot of men, being The Provider is a core part of their identity as men when thats taken away from them, theyre at a loss. Their status as a man is threatened. Studies have actually found that men whose wives make more money than they do suffer from depression and erectile dysfunction. But while all of this was understandable, it doesnt justify how you behaved. The way you behaved toward your wife didnt just wound your relationship, it created an infection and allowed contempt to creep in. That, more than anything else, is destroying your marriage. Your wife isnt interested in fixing things because, frankly, she doesnt want to.